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date: August 22, 1999

time: 4:04 p.m.



man it's been a long time since i've sat down to write anything, but then again i didn't have access to a computer for just over a week. so much has happened since my last journal entries that this one will probably be a doozie with me trying to write about everything!

my last journal entry was on the 10th. i stayed up all that night and all of the next day to try to get my days and nights straightened out. mom, jenna, and i went shopping on the 10th. jenna went into her 5-7-9 store...or as dad likes to call it, 2-4-6 :o) and found a cute tank top with a shrug that matched it...what size? a small of course. so then it was my turn. we looked all over the place and i just could NOT find anything that i liked or if i did like it, it looked like crap when i tried it on. i was to the point of tears before i finally found something.

i am not a shopper at all. in fact i hate it. trying on clothes makes me feel so awful about myself and so very self conscious. i know i'm not thin but when i look at clothes that fit me...they are UGLY. i guess they think if you're not a size 6 or whatever that you have no taste in clothes. hell i'm 22..i want cute trendy stuff. i have always avoided lane bryant...because that was the store for FAT people...well ding ding ding..that's my store. it's embarrassing to admit but fuck...a girl has got to have clothes. so my sister drug me into lane bryant...and for the first time in a long time...i felt free to shop and there were CUTE CUTE clothes in there. it really made me want to cry..with happiness this time. i found jeans, khakis, a skirt, and 6 blouses. since i never shop mom let me get everything...and jenna was about to cry because she'd never seen me leave shopping with a smile on my face. it really wound up being a good day...definitely a new experience for me.

the next day it was time for my first heart concert!!! i'm going to write my concert experiences in the music section of my page but i have to tell how damn excited i was! before the show started i was wiggling in my chair like a 5 year old. the man sitting next to us was blown away that at 22 and 15, my sister and i love heart. it was completely worth the drive to fort worth even though we didn't get back to austin til almost 4 in the morning on thursday.

on thursday we were going to see ann and nancy in san antonio. my parents decided to get a hotel room there and sort of have a vacation. well the room we got put it had a leak under the carpet and our room smelled like mold or mildew which didn't settle well with dad. *for those that don't know he got his lungs burned by chemicals at work a few years back and has developed really bad asthma and smells like that close him up* jenna and i went on to the concert and were supposed to go backstage but that didn't work out. somehow our names along with another woman didn't make it on the list. i was so heartbroken...i really had be so excited about meeting ann and nancy. my friend andrea got backstage and she got my dog and butterfly cd cover autographed for me, which was so very sweet. we were going to go out after the concert but everything except the bars were closed.

jenna isn't old enough and offered to let mom and dad come get her but the room was making dad sick and they just decided to check out and drive on back to austin that night..which by this point, i was running out of patience fast and was just sick about not getting to go backstage.
my sister and I attempted to walk back to the hotel but 2 bums were creeping us out and making comments to my ever so cute sis...so we decided to call mom and dad and get them to pick us up after checking...so i hung up the pay phone with them...

THEN 2 bicycle cops ride up and pretty much harass us regarding "what are we doing out so late" and tell us there is a curfew in San Antonio. To be out past 10 pm..you have to be 17 to be out. They then asked Jenna how old she was. Without missing a beat she looks them dead in the eye and says 17. I KNOW I gave us away cuz my jaw hit the ground. They asked if she had any ID on her and she said no. Then it was my turn..are you 17 too? *that made me feel good let me tell you *L* I was still blown away with Jenna just nonchalantly telling them the wrong age that I had to think for a minute to remember that I was 22.

I explained we had just gotten out of the concert and were waiting for our ride...their demeanor immediately changed and when we told them about going to the concert the night before in Ft Worth they were pretty amazed and said something to the effect of us being dedicated fans. They then wished us a good night and headed out.

all in all an exciting night don't you think? i know it's one i won't soon forget! we got back to austin around 2:30 a.m.

the next day i headed out to lake jackson. i didn't get in til almost midnight. i swear it took me FOREVER to get there. it felt like i drove 1000 miles instead of 200. on saturday it was my last ann and nancy concert. it was in houston. carli, one of my best friends went with me. our seats weren't as good as the other two concerts but they were still decent. she really likes heart and is in the fan club as well...so we had a great time. i was bad..and snuck in a camera and a recorder....so i have a tape of the concert :o) it's not great quality but i can hear the songs and that's all that matters! plus i did manage to snap a photo..we'll see how it comes out!

we drove back to LJ that night and got in around 1 i guess it was. so now i was free to relax and stop getting so excited that i was making myself sick about the concerts.

while in lake jackson i got to see some of my friends and neighbors i used to live by. aimee came over one night and we just sat out on the balcony and drank beer, smoked, and gossiped. it really was fun to catch up with her. i spent one evening over at my ex-neighbor's house. i used to always go over and talk with her and it was nice to do it again. when i was in high school she was my "adult" sounding board. i could talk to her about things and not have to worry about her telling my family what i had said. i always looked up to her a lot...and i've learned that still hasn't changed. i have no problem opening up with her and i do want to hear her opinion about things.

things were going great until wednesday hit. i went out to my car to head to my dentist's appointment...and my car sounded like it was about to start up..then all of a suddent poof. it won't do anything but click when i turn the key...so i had to go get carli to take my to my appointment!

i was going to get my teeth cleaned on tuesday and found out that i had 3 cavities...so i had to set up an appointment for wed to get 2 of them fixed. lovely. i used to work for my dentist so when i was all done getting drilled on, i asked if i could use the phone to get someone to come get me...she said oh don't worry about it, i'll drop you off on my way home. i thought that was so sweet. she's such a great person...and the BEST dentist.

after i got back to the apartment, i got trevor to take a look at my car. i had a fried cell in my battery. so off to auto zone we went where i spent MORE money and got a new battery. we went back and put it in my car...and it started up like a charm. poor trevor..he always winds up fixing my car. he's going to come to dread me visiting if that pattern keeps up!!!

thursday afternoon carli, trevor's sister carrie, and i went to lunch. it's tradition that carli and i have to eat italian whenever we get together. i guess that's why my car broke down..it knew we had to have italian :o)

i got back to austin thursday evening. it felt like i hadn't been home in forever...it was nice to sleep in my bed again. not that i didn't enjoy visiting..it's just there is nothing like sleeping in your own bed. AND as usual...i came home sick from LJ. i always do..i was hoping this time would be different but it wasn't.

since i've been back i've pretty much been hanging around the house. i don't feel like getting out. i did go over to tiffany's on friday night to see her new place. farhaneh, tiff, and i watched clean slate and just caught up with what's been going on with them because i hadn't talked to them in probably a week and a half or so. clean slate was a cute movie....the dog in that movie CRACKED me up!!!! i want a dog like that :o)

i wanted to write in my journal sooner but i just haven't felt like it. i drug myself to campus today to buy my books. some how i managed to get out fairly light. it was only $185...but one of my books isn't in yet and i have to go buy access 2000. i don't know why they can't use the version i have one more year..ah well not a biggie.

well it's time to add some pics to my heart page...and scan my new autograph and add that in...update the tour page...plus i am going to change my cd reviews to a page about concerts i've been to. it's going to be really really hard remembering them all but i'm going to do my best!

hopefully the concert thingie will be finished up by tomorrow. we'll see i guess..depends on how i feel and how much dad needs his computer! anyway..this is long enough i'm all typed out for now. more later...